The problem with that title is that it is so cliched, it makes my jaws ache. Seriously. That, and the conviction from my former employers that I must be angry, upset or something else with negative connotations.
Hate to break it to you guys, but I was not surprised. I was not angry and I was definitely not upset.
Let’s deal with that cliched title: redundancy is not the end. From that book I was given in Pharmacia “Who Ate My Cheese” or some crap like that, to the hint that it being made redundant, your skills were not up to scratch, there will be someone who tells you in an overly cheerful voice that redundancy is about new beginnings. And, there will be some who will say “Yeah, right!” or who might believe that it is an end, or if they don’t, they will come to feel that way. When I left GSK, there was a definite air of ‘poor Jo wasn’t up to scratch’ because I couldn’t secure redeployment somewhere in the company. My most recent employer also used the words ‘angry’ and ‘upset’ to describe how I ‘must’ be feeling. Well, big surprise, guys and gals …
That person is not me and will not be me.
I am a big one for believing that things happen at a specific time for a reason. Lessons need to be learnt, and the time for that lesson just happens to be now. I also maintain that my Goddess (yes, I am a devout pagan) only sends those lessons at the right time, when I am ready and when I am strong enough.
What do I mean by that? This time last year, the black dog of depression and anxiety had me tightly in its grip. Yes, I contemplated killing myself before realising that the recruitment notice would be placed about the same time as my ‘caring’ employers let the rest of the company know of my demise. In other words, my now former employer would not give a rat’s arse if I did kill myself. That was where it all started. It became clear that, both during my time signed off sick by my GP, that the company viewed me and potentially anyone with mental health issues as a burden, and one to be cast off with the minimum delay.
When we were told earlier this year that one of four salespeople with eastern territories would be made redundant, I knew it would be me. A previous attempt to … encourage me to leave had not worked. This was the latest attempt, as I saw it. I am sure that the ‘evaluation’ paperwork will show all the reasons why I would be the one chosen. After all, that would be the first thing to be examined if any questions were asked. But it was irrelevant.
Of greater importance, bearing in mind my conviction that ‘it’ would be me, I needed to start planning alternatives. I needed to ensure that I was offered the most beneficial severance package possible. Yes, such plans might not earn me as much as that job, but it would serve two purposes: It would bring in some money, even if that was less than £100 a month, and more importantly, I would keep my brain active.
Yes, I have allowed myself a couple of days ‘downtime’, but then I have other things in mind.
Want to know what they are? Read the next blog post to find out …
RELEVANT LINKS FOR JO PILSWORTH
Merysekhmet (US link): https://t.co/fFOUm5MHUs